Navigating the social realm of today’s modern world may offer many ways to now view things.  Our very own Etiquette Guy, Jay Remer, is on the scene to provide both sense and sensibility with any social conundrums you may have.  

Dear Etiquette Guy,

Can you please remind me of some of the fall season rules…like no white dinner jackets after Labor Day, etc.? Can I still dress summery if I live in a resort climate?

On The Scene Again

Dear Scene and Be Seen,

Given the pandemic, flexibility is the new name of the game. In fashion, the old rules may no longer apply as stringently. If you really feel like wearing white after Labor Day has passed, then wear white. With climate change weighing heavily on us, unseasonably peculiar weather patterns require us to be more adaptable. Look and feel the way that puts you in a festive mood. We’re awakening to a new world, and with that comes new rules.



Dear Etiquette Guy,

With Covid in mind, is there a protocol you recommend when asking people I will gather with if they have been fully vaccinated as a health precaution?

Very Vaccinated

Dear Ready to Mingle,

This intersection has already presented challenges because the decision to vaccinate is a very personal one. I have found that asking the host before accepting the invitation is the way to go if this is a concern. Legitimate reasons for requiring vaccinations or asking that guests wear masks need to be considered by hosts and guests. For example, if someone has a compromised immune system, they may request that unvaccinated people wear masks. The bottom line is that the host calls the shots. They, too, may have personal views that may or may not align with yours. You must do what is best for you, even if that means sending your regrets.



Dear Etiquette Guy,

Since weddings are happening again, do you have any favorite gifts these days that you recommend for the fortunate couple?

Aisle Be There

Dear Aisle Say,

Personally, I like kitchen gadgetry. I also like good-quality gardening tools. Consumables, gift cards, and experiences are always an excellent choice for older couples who already have everything they need. There is also no harm in asking the couple what they’d like. Buying something for them that they would not normally splurge on for themselves is often a guaranteed hit.



Dear Etiquette Guy

We will invariably be invited to costume Halloween parties again this year. It’s just not my favorite holiday, especially with the pressure of dressing up. Thoughts on a polite decline?  

Hallowed Eve

Dear All About Eve,

If Halloween parties just aren’t your thing, sending your regrets as you would any other invitation is appropriate. The reason for declining is personal and need not be shared. If pressed, however, honesty is the best policy. Your true friends will not judge you negatively for being your authentic self. The shoe will be on the other foot one day, giving you, too, the opportunity to graciously accept regrets without explanation.