Whether you choose to have a large wedding or a small one, there’s something to offer every family. The Etiquette Guy, Jay Remer, our roving expert in all things mannerly, weighs in on how weddings can be as chic as ever.


A small wedding, during these challenging times, might just be the new big wedding. Due to COVID-19 restrictions, large gatherings during 2021 will continue to be discouraged or outlawed entirely. Since it’s in the spirit of public safety that we take these measures, there has never been a greater need for gratitude and compassion. There is nothing like a beautiful wedding to ignite these actions as we celebrate a new union in innovative, memory-instilling ways. After all, it’s not the number of witnesses that ensure relationships will stand the test of time, but rather a strong foundation of appreciation and compassion.


Because we can no longer gather in extraordinarily large groups for a while, celebrating marriages’ needs can shift from hosting an event for our multitudes of friends and family…to creating an occasion that echoes the many intimacies of marriage. This new normal does not preclude us from celebrating en masse; it just means using our creative juices and a bit of modern technology to bring people together. This ability enables many people who might otherwise be unable to attend an outing of any kind the chance to join in the festivities. These remote connections can coincide with exchanging vows, offering toasts, or any particularly poignant moments and do not need to cover the entire event.



One of the benefits of hosting a small wedding is that you can pull out all the stops more easily. After all, caviar for twelve guests is more affordable than for one or two hundred, right? French Champagne served all night can replace bubbly from elsewhere. There’s an opportunity to enjoy your favorite foods, wines, and flowers that you may not have otherwise. In other words, you can have the most memorable and unique wedding you can imagine, precisely how you want it. Creating great memories that last a lifetime is exhilarating.


You will need to be painfully selective when it comes to choosing your guests. Remember that your wedding is a reflection of the love your share with one another. Your unique relationship exemplifies your authentic selves. This celebration is one of the few times in life where being self-centered is a good thing. Your friends should realize the challenges of miniaturizing weddings. Understand that you are working with real limitations and stick to those unapologetically. Some people may take offense at your decisions, but your intention is not to snub anyone, and those who cannot accept that will simply have to deal with their feelings.


Many of us wait to marry until we establish our careers. Or, we may enter into marriage early on. Weddings are the culmination of developing and testing our relationship before taking the defining step into marriage. By taking the time to do this, we accept one another for who we are. We replace the allure of a flashy wedding with a more intimate ceremony where the emphasis can be focused on the bond’s uniqueness.



Large weddings can be expensive, exhausting, and more extravagant than some people want these days. Being forced to downsize can be more welcoming. Surprisingly, adjusting to smaller gatherings allows guests to engage more fully in the festivities. The amount of time, effort, and expense saved due to opting for such an event can make way for a myriad of more important parts of your life.


In essence, small weddings have as many advantages as more massive celebrations. Surprisingly,  things we must often compromise on for a lavish event are no longer a factor. Once we embrace the many positive aspects of creating an intimate, intensely beautiful event, the excitement that we experience intensifies. The memories one carries away from these occasions focuses on the couple and their guests and far less on the spectacle. The opportunities revealed by the smaller-is-better approach allow for our imaginations to create a jewel of a wedding event.