RED CARPET READY

RED CARPET READY

Whether you’re gracing a red carpet or just relishing red raspberries as a snack, precious red stones can make anyone feel like having a red-letter day. Here, our jewelry admirer Lance Avery Morgan and the Society Texas editorial team pick our favorites for you to adorn and love as we collaborate with some of our very favorite jewelers.

Shine oh so brightly in this dreamy Procida ring in 18K rose gold with rubies and white diamonds. $12,000. By Miseno. At Neiman Marcus Houston.

CANDLE
PAN

You’ll be jumping through hoops for these eye-catching Procida earrings in 18K white gold with rubies and diamonds. $11,100. By Miseno. At Neiman Marcus Houston.

Make your grand entrance wearing these Zorab chandelier earrings with pear shape faceted rubellite, cultured pearls, and round diamond accents that are set in 18K yellow gold and palladium. $22,900. At TenenbaumJewelers.com.

French Oil
EYE MASK KEEP BOX IN

Regal and royal, here’s an antique mid-Victorian twisted 18K yellow gold bypass bangle bracelet with carbuncle garnets and rose-cut diamonds set in silver. Circa 1870. $4,890. At TenenbaumJewelers.com.

Just in time to don for holiday parties, this pear-shaped 5.64CTW. Burma ruby and diamond drop earrings are handcrafted in pure platinum. Price upon request. By JB Star. At L Majors Jewelers, Austin.

BOOK
CHARGER

Should this be worn as a necklace, or even as an improvised tiara? Yes, please, with this diamond and Burma ruby necklace of floral design handcrafted in pure platinum. Price upon request. By JB Star. At L Majors Jewelers, Austin.

This very bold and beautiful Nicole Mera necklace features a 7.34CT oval Rubellite Tourmaline  surrounded by a halo and bail of bright white diamonds set in 18K yellow gold. $16,000. At NicoleMera.com.

PJS NEW
your birthday can be any day

With just a flick of the wrist, you’ll shine like never before in this Butterfly ruby bangle in 18K white gold. It has 122 rubies that are of 46.92CT, 129 diamonds of 5.14CT, and 562 diamonds of 7.55 CT. $172,000. By Nini Jewels. At NiniJewels.com.

This one-of-a-kind stunner is a centerpiece of a Mozambique ruby of 10.11CT, 248 diamonds of 2.30CT, 38 emeralds of 2.95CT, 16 diamonds of 1.22CT, and six pink sapphires of 2.75CT. All set in 18K white gold. $950,000. By Nini Jewels. At NiniJewels.com.

GLOSSIER
your birthday can be any day

Blaze into the night like never before while wearing this incredibly unique and rare platinum slider necklace that features a 3.37CT. The Pear shape orangish red Tanzanian Spinel is surrounded by Nicole Mera’s signature cluster halo of big, bright white diamonds, weighing 65CTW. $34,000. At NicoleMera.com.

Pin on this large Rhodolite garnet cabochon brooch that is set in 18K yellow gold. The garnet is 150.4CTS, measures 27.75 X 34mm, and is flanked by 10 freshwater button pearls ranging from 15-15.8mm. By Christopher Walling. Price upon request. At ChristopherWallingJewelry.com.

GLOSSIER
your birthday can be any day

It’s all in the wrists with this very modern, yet classic simultaneously, this original bangle consisting of 4CTS. of diamonds and 20 cabochon rubies set in platinum. By Christopher Walling. Price upon request. At ChristopherWallingJewelry.com.

Be the belle of the ball with this immense and impressive Mozambique ruby ring. Keep the jewels, yet remember the carriage turns into a pumpkin at midnight. Price upon request. By Oscar Heyman. At KormanFineJewelry.com.

GLOSSIER
your birthday can be any day

You’ll be smiling from ear to ear with these remarkable Burman pigeon blood ruby and diamond earrings. Price upon request. By Oscar Heyman. At KormanFineJewelry.com.

Go ahead, nurture your inner Catherine The Great and drop in anytime, especially wearing these ruby, pearl, and diamond dangle earrings. $14,500. By Lee Michaels Fine Jewelry. At LMFJ.com.

GLOSSIER
your birthday can be any day

Fit for anyone who wants to feel more regal instantly, this tremendous 2.66CT cushion cut ruby is surrounded by trapezoid and marquise-shaped diamonds in 18K white gold. $105,400. By Lee Michaels Fine Jewelry. At LMFJ.com

FABULOUS FORTÉ

FABULOUS FORTÉ

Ballet Austin’s Fête And fête*ish Features Dazzling Crowd

By Rob Giardinelli

Photography by John Pesina

The W Hotel in Austin was the recent setting of one of the Capital City’s most anticipated annual social events. Over 500 sociables, philanthropists, and VIPs who were on hand to support Ballet Austin’s Fête gala and fête*ish after party were treated to a dazzling evening of both fun and fundraising.

 

THE STYLE: The black tie crowd’s evening began in the ballroom foyer with a splashy cocktail hour in honor of the evening’s theme, Swan Lake. Guests sipped spirits while brimming with anticipation of the fun to come as the festivities then moved into the ballroom for the main program.

 

As the attendees dined on a delectable multi-course meal, they were treated to words from event leaders and Austin’s Mayor Steve Adler, followed by tributes and testimonials on how much Ballet Austin has positively impacted the community. The Fête festivities were capped off with a live auction featuring a custom kitchen package that garnered over $100,000.

 

After the live auction, the patrons poured back into the ballroom foyer of the W, where the bustling fête*ish after party was taking place. One of Austin’s most popular and well-attended after parties, the guests had the opportunity to take advantage of several unique experiential areas set up throughout the entire ballroom level of the W to revel in the fun. One could be seen dancing the night away to the tunes of DJ Max or tucked away into a smaller room on the ballroom floor posing for caricatures. Others enjoyed a nightcap with friends on the W Terrace, capping off a fabulous evening on a beautiful spring night.

 

THE PURPOSE: While there were no designated chairs for Fête, Mallory Miller and Stephanie Gossen co-chaired the fete*ish event. The event raised over $500,000 for Ballet Austin. Proceeds from this year’s Fête and fête*ish will support Ballet Austin’s mission of providing exceptional arts education and artistic programming to the Central Texas community.

OOH, LA L.A. LOUVRE

OOH, LA L.A. LOUVRE

When Houstonian Becca Cason Thrash hosts an event, it is a happening. On par with few other galas in the world, the lady raised in Harlingen, Texas continues to raise the bar for not only herself, but also for other international organizations like the Musée du Louvre, who has benefitted from her latest largesse. Join us in this exclusive look at the party of the decade in Los Angeles, according to our very own social chronicler, Lance Avery Morgan.

 

Photography by Linda Posnick

ENTRE NOUS

The halo of a crisp, late spring evening in Los Angeles, with its bright blue satiny sky, hovered over the festivities like a sparkling jeweled tiara with freshly cut gems placed into it. The occasion? Another Becca Cason Thrash extravaganza, of course. The Texas-based philanthropist has a nearly perfect record of creating successful events. However, this was unlike any Thrash Bash before it.

 

No stranger to rolling up her shirtsleeves to help a cause she believes in, Thrash received the Chevalier of the Legion of Honor in 2011 for her philanthropic talents at home and abroad in France…and certainly for her tireless fundraising for the Musée du Louvre. Also, her ongoing championing of Franco-American relations continues to support the Louvre and Notre-Dame de Pâris organizations. So, based on her experiences, she knows a thing, or more like it, several thousand things, about the nuisances of both France and fundraising.

 

The events Thrash has created in the past is a roster of hundreds of philanthropic causes far too long to list, yet they include a range from Best Buddies, on which she serves as a board member, to the Houston Ballet, Houston Grand Opera, Contemporary Art Museum Houston, Holocaust Museum Houston, and more. Although those amply fill her fundraising dossier in Houston, in the late 2000s, she took her show on the road to Europe with the first Musée du Louvre event in Paris in 2007, when she was invited by then Louvre director Henri Loyrette to chair the first-ever fundraising gala for the Louvre…in the Louvre. That was followed by other substantial Louvre galas that she also helmed again in Paris, then Venice, and Palm Beach. Whether hosting an event in her Houston home, or in monumental internationally known venues, her events attract hundreds of guests who arrive to support five-star cultural institutions with every intention to also have fun. Her fundraising, in her and her husband John Thrash’s estimation, is likely well north of $110 million (so far and counting) …and that might well be a conservative assessment.

 

“Becca is the ultimate fun-lanthropist,” muses international style setter Cameron Silver who attended the recent festivities. “She is so passionate about supporting the world’s cultural institutions. The Louvre needs international support and Becca is so successful at raising funds from every corner of the planet. I have nearly twenty-five years of attending events hosted by her…from Paris to Houston to Los Angeles. When an invite comes from Becca, it is a guarantee of a memorable evening because she works her butt off as if she’s producing a 150-million-dollar action film. Truthfully, Becca is a super heroine.” 

 

CHERCHEZ LA FEMME 

Much like the Pied Piper, those who follow her lead to offering their support, comprise today’s current roster of Jet-Set names from Europe, Mexico, and throughout the U.S. When Thrash throws a party, people show up to support her and her causes. Her latest wildly successful venture had her taking the show stateside, this time to the City of Angels, where fundraising is a true sport. With a geyser of sociable names, all dressed to the nines, the three-day Los Angeles affair, La L.A. Louvre, consisted of private art collection visits, luncheons, and parties, each captivating those who would attend this latest incarnation to raise money to restore the Roman galleries in the Louvre. Thrash, in her usual accomplishment-driven manner, approached the event with confidence. Confident she would wow her guests with artful tours and tons of fun…and, all the while, raise boatloads of money for a cause so near to her heart.

 

Beyond relationships, the simple fact of the matter is Thrash’s hard work began well over a year ago to create this event. With the pandemic waning last November, I caught up with Thrash in L.A. to attend Houston’s Sir Mark Haukohl’s seated dinner party at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art honoring his photography collection exhibit. Thrash was also in town and up to her swan-like neck in arranging significant private art tours of some of the most important collections in the world that just also happened to be in the Los Angeles area.

 

The event, originally scheduled for mid-March, shifted to May, in hopes the pandemic would subside more, which it did. The pandemic also posed logistical problems and therefore, some collections were not able to be viewed because of the restrictions the city had imposed for over two years. “There is no city in the country with a more vibrant art scene, and architecturally iconic homes, than Los Angeles,” confides Becca Cason Thrash. “So, I dove into LA and began by contacting friends who had great homes, fabulous collections, or both. Asking if I could bring a hundred strangers in to see their private spaces was a different story. In the end, 14 said yes…with two I couldn’t get to budge.”

 

Thrash’s attention to the platinum-level event creation had been in the works for over six months by the time she arrived in Los Angeles in early May to oversee the happening of the festivities. “The Covid restrictions and mask mandates were still an issue, which affected the guest list quite a bit, but we got around those by May,” shared Thrash. “With the date being postponed to May, American graduations and European art fairs prevented several guests from attending. I was heartbroken but there is never a perfect date for everyone. Gratefully their contributions helped us raise over two million dollars.”

 

The dozens and dozens of hands-on meetings with Houston’s Richard Flowers, of The Events Company, and his team, as well as vendors in Los Angeles, was the only way the event could flawlessly occur. Whether the event is in the Louvre in Paris, or in a tent on the grounds of a historic Los Angeles estate, Thrash is 100% in. For the seasoned fundraising veteran, the challenge becomes…what next? As with this gala in L.A., anyone in the serious world of fundraising knows of Thrash’s abilities to lead the way in bringing serious money to organizations. The LA L.A. Louvre happened only due to the sponsorships of John and Becca Cason Thrash, Sotheby’s Fine Art and Auction, and fine jewelers Cartier, Vacheron Constantin, Kip Forbes, David Yurman, Tiffany & Co., and Bulgari. The wines and champagnes were provided by LVMH, as well as Kastra Elion vodka, and Casa Dragones Joven tequila for additional libations.  

 

Vibrant and full of stories about each guest she hand-picks to attend, Thrash is a captivating international hostess who is pretty peerless these days. Her style, charmingly precise and over-the-top at the same time, is in the mold of the great hostesses of the past like Pamela Harriman, Marella Agnelli, Babe Paley, or, on a more Texas playing field of yore, Martha Hyder and Baroness di Portanova. Few, if any, compare to her today. “When hosting an event, you really have to curate your guest list,” admits Thrash. “You want chic, like-minded people but need the occasional, or unexpected, controversial guest. That’s what stirs it up and keeps it from feeling like a night at the club. I am so fortunate to have cultivated so many friendships through the years from all over the world and that I can extend these opportunities to them.”

MISE EN SCÈNE

Thrash’s essence, like her hair, also now in the shade of pandemic platinum, has captivated a room with flair and finesse for decades, as she flawlessly sets the stage for every event. Philanthropy, at the highest level, takes ingenuity and brains, both of which Thrash has plenty. It was her goal that the Paris-meets-Los Angeles’ 72-hour whirlwind, a three day experience of private art collections, luncheons, dinners, and a gala offered guests something smart, exclusive and unique.

 

The private collection visits offered to the fortunate guests were some of the most important private collections in the world. It began with film and television producer Michael Phillips’ Asian art collection, T.V. show creator Darren Star’s art-filled collection at his Beverly Hills home, philanthropists Lynda and Stewart Resnick’s collection at their Beverly Hills estate, real estate developer James Goldstein’s collection housed in his mid-century masterpiece, John Lautner-designed Beverly Hills home, prolific gallery owner and collector Larry Gagosian’s Holmby Hills home, the home and private art museum of entertainment executive Steve Tisch, the art foundation of Frederick R. Weisman in Bel Air, as well as opportunities to see the latest exhibits at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, the Getty Museum, and the new Academy Museum of Motion Pictures.

 

“There isn’t anyone who knows how to create memorable experiences the way Becca does,” shared Dallasite entertaining guru Kimberly Schlegel Whitman. “When her name is on an invitation, it is guaranteed to be filled with friends and fun and is sure to be a night you will remember. The LA L.A. Louvre event introduced us to private corners of Los Angeles that we often drive past and don’t even know. It was incredible treat to get to go inside their homes and see their collections with other art enthusiasts and hear the stories of the collectors and their remarkable collections.”

 

The event hosts included entrepreneur Ronnie Haft, with his husband Andrew Nagel, who had a welcome cocktail party at their Beverly Hills Forever home on Tuesday evening. Real estate developer Richard Weintraub, and his wife Liane, hosted the Malibu brunch on Wednesday in their historic, 1921 five-story beach front home, Villa Tramonto, while contemporary art collector and Jumex Collection owner Eugenio Lopez hosted a glorious al fresco seated dinner in his art-filled Beverly Hills home on Wednesday evening. In Lopez’s estate, one was as likely to see a Basquiat, Donald Judd, Cy Twombly, or a Warhol Brillo box, as an incredible Jeff Koons poolside sculpture among the other treasures that were feasts for the guest’s eyes.

 

The coup de grâce was Thursday evening’s culmination of the tremendous effort, a seated dinner for over 250 at the home of Colleen and Bradley Bell, high above the City of Angels in Holmby Hills. Longtime friends of Thrash through their mutual support of Anthony Kennedy Shriver’s Best Buddies organization, she’s the former U.S. Ambassador to Hungary and a T.V. producer, and he’s a seasoned television executive who has won over 20 Daytime EmmyÓ Awards. Their home, formerly the residence of Rod Stewart, and before that, Gregory Peck, served as the perfect backdrop for the Le Grand Nuit.

 

LA VIE EST BELLE

Many of the guests upon arrival at the Bell’s estate, entered the Mediterranean-style villa and were captivated by the impressive contemporary and classic art collection the Bells have assembled. Friendly, charming, and outgoing, the Bells are the perfect hosts for this kind of event. Never one to miss an opportunity to incorporate the French theme, a rendition of The Ritz Paris’ Hemingway Bar was recreated in the oak-paneled library of the residence. “The Bells are such lovely people, and their home was perfect for this event. The Hotel Ritz barkeep Colin Fields, who was flown in to create the pop-up, lost his mind when he saw the facsimile,” noted Thrash. As the Old Fashioned, Martini and signature Serendipity (nicknamed France in a glass) cocktails flowed, so did the guests who greeted longtime friends and eagerly made new ones.

 

In fact, as the event spilled onto the estate, with a magnificent view of the city, guests were so entranced by each other that dinner was served over an hour later than planned. After all, it isn’t always easy gathering guests to be seated. The gigantic tent was festooned with vibrantly pink lighting. With an abundance of one-story high greenery perched on the tables, it was the perfect counterbalance to the fuchsia pink carpet. Much of decorative elements and rentals were driven directly from Houston to Los Angeles. “We incorporated the natural beauty of Southern California with palms, elephant ear leaves and banana trees to add to the gradations of green,” offered Thrash. “The chandeliers dripped in long, cascading ivy, while the shapes of the plants were projected onto the ceiling, adding to the tropical theme.”

 

Creative, sublime, yet extremely elegant was Thrash’s goal in creating the décor. Never one to miss an opportunity, Becca Cason Thrash’s dress of glittering olive green sequins, designed by her close friend, designer-to-the-stars Naaem Khan, who also attended, matched the environment perfectly. “I find inspiration everywhere in creating a gala’s theme. Naaem sent me the dress he designed for me, and we built the evening around that,” revealed Thrash.

 

The synergy between the olive beaded gown and her pink kunzite and diamond jewels that punctuated the green and pink theme wasn’t lost on anyone. “It was so appropriate that Becca’s Naeem Khan gown had a cape attached,” shares Austinite philanthropist Carla McDonald. “She is a philanthropic superhero, and her superpower is bringing the world’s most interesting people together to advance the work of the world’s most important organizations.”

 

Guests raved over the entirely green table palette, highlighted with Yves Klein French blue tableware accents, that graced the silk table coverings on the many Continental and square tables, as guests were perched on green Chiavari chairs. In fact, every place setting was a feast for the eyes, and shortly thereafter, the cuisine palette. Guests dined on elegant French fare of filet mignon, asparagus in a light Bearnaise sauce, as well as pears in Champagne with crème fraiche. To pair with the meal, bottle upon bottle of Baron de Rothschild Champagne’s Chateau de Meusault 2016 and Le Petit Haut Lafitte 2015 were poured. For après dinner, Casa Dragones Joeven sipping tequila, Kastra Elion expresso martinis, and an array of French chocolates was served.

 

While dining, and as the evening progressed, the live auction, deftly helmed by Michael Macauley of Sotheby’s Fine Art and Auction, raised the pulse of the evening even more. As Becca Cason Thrash shared a few moving words about the importance of fundraising for the cause, with a video greeting by the Louvre President Laurence des Cars, the auction was off to a flying start. Some of the artists who donated works and who also attended the event were Chris Levine of London, California-based artist James Verbicky, Niki Haas of the Haas Brothers duo who grew up in Austin, to name a few. The Impressionist collector Lionel Sauvage (and longtime Louvre’s International Friends’ board member) was spotted huddling with the current American Friends Of The Louvre board chairman, Kip Forbes of New York (Becca Cason Thrash serves as the vice-chairman), while collector Mary Ellen Marziale flew in from Italy for the gala and was accompanied by her actor/director son, Antonio Marziale. 

 

The bevy of guests who attended the event also included Michael Chow, founder of Mr. Chow restaurants, who bought the custom Tiffany watch for $85,000 at the auction, and Former Ambassador to Great Britain, the Honorable Robert Tuttle and his wife, Maria. Since the event occurred in Los Angeles, some local star power added to the guest list including Jacqueline Bisset, Chris O’Donnell, Jennifer Tilley, a few Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast members, producer Mark Burnett and his actor wife, Roma Downey, to name a few. Paris was also well represented with Parisian residents Ina Giscard d’Estaing (her father-in-law was Valéry Giscard d’Estaing, the former President of France), Baroness Rose Anne de Pampelonne,  Ritz Paris Director Mark Raffray, Fabrice Pasqual of Air France, and Parisian Lucas Somoza, among many other dear Paris-based friends of Thrash’s. The creative clout of the guests included designers like Juicy Couture co-founder Gela Taylor, and Monique Lhullier. Many other notables comprised of investor Francois Schramek, German technologist Patrick Hessler, philanthropists such as Sydney Holland, Carolyn Powers, and Orange County-based Elizabeth Segerstrom.

 

In fact, philanthropists Gregory Annenberg Weingarten and his wife, Regina, were overheard marveling about the vast turnout and enthusiastic support from so many Texans, too. The laundry list of Thrash’s Texas fans and supporters who would show up to support her for anything, anywhere would be too long to list here, yet we were all there. “Most were eager to show up to make a contribution to the event by doing their part: looking as glamorous as possible, donning fashionable new ensembles and jewels, and bringing their irreplaceable Texas exuberance by bidding vigorously…and to show the international guests how to let their hair down.” laughed Thrash.

COUP DE GRÂCE

As with previous Louvre galas, the dinner and auction ended, and with the attendees ready for more action, Sinatra-esque singer Chris North took to the stage in a white dinner jacket, ready to rumble with the crowd. “He tore the ceiling off the roof with his 35-minute, non-stop set of mega superstar hits of the last 50 years,” enthused Thrash, who was referred to North’s talents by their mutual pal, event producer Colin Cowie. “Chris had the guests dancing on their seats and in the aisles. It was a fabulous, high-octane performance that left people begging for more.”

 

“The events hosted by Becca Cason Thrash are legendary, as I have read about them in BrilliantThe Society Diaries, and Society Texas for years,” confided Texan-turned-Angeleno Natalie Bond Bloomingdale. “How cool that my first party to attend helmed by Becca was in Los Angeles, and for such a wonderful cause. It was a meticulously orchestrated, very well-planned, with a well-organized itinerary, and incredible access to the best private art collections Los Angeles has to offer. Her grand vision was beautifully executed, and I am hopeful the funds raised will do a great deal for the restoration of the Roman Galleries at The Louvre.

 

With the evening raising over a whopping two million dollars, we will all have to stay tuned to learn of Thrash’s next fundraising adventures…here and across the globe. “I have been contacted by so many wonderful organizations,” confides Thrash. “I’ll probably take on an entirely different project next, so stay tuned.”

REFRESHED & REGAL

REFRESHED & REGAL

The 2022 Mercedes Benz S-Class has something going for it. In fact, it has so many things going for it…from its superior engineering to the sumptuous interior, as our guy-on-the-go Mike Satterfield of The Gentleman Racer reports.

CLASS ACT

Sure, the S-Class has long been the gold standard of luxury sedans, rivaling cars that have nearly double the MSRP. The one thing I would say it lacks is presence. Now that might be a feature for those who would prefer to fly under the radar, but for many buyers who are spending over $100,000 for a car, they expect their vehicle to make more of a statement. That noted, when it comes to luxury, refinement, and quality, the S-Class is more comparable to a Bentley Flying Spur, than other luxury cars to which it is so often compared. The understated styling on the outside is countered by one of the most opulent interiors available in a production car today.

 

Essentially, the S-Class has always been a platform for the latest and greatest in Mercedes-Benz technology, thus buying an S-Class is buying the cutting edge of automotive innovation. It has long been a saying in the automotive industry that “where the S-Class is today, is where other cars hope to be in a decade.” For good reason…the S-Class over the years has led numerous innovations, including production anti-lock brakes, electronic stability control, adaptive cruise control, LED-Lighting, and so many other features that are standard in most cars today.  

 

FINE AND REFINED

The car’s refinement, luxury, power, and technology are second to none and with the 496 horsepower in the S580, this big sedan has plenty of get-up and go. With the weight that comes with a car of this size, you will be shocked at how nimble the handling is. Not only is it perfect for eating up highway miles, but it is also surprisingly capable on winding roads. With the E-Active Body Control, Mercedes’ latest active suspension system, each corner of the car’s suspension automatically adjusts to provide the best ride and handling possible.

 

Inside the S580 is a symphony of luxury and technology. The dash is almost entirely digital with an oversized center touchscreen and a digital gauge cluster that can be toggled through several different display modes… from a more traditional to a dynamic 3-D effect. With massaging seats, the opulent interior is impressive, and the adjustable LED ambient lighting was by far the most popular tech gadget that passengers enjoyed playing with. Plus, the Burmester 3-D Surround Sound system comes with 15 speakers and 710 watts of system power. It is especially intensive, so its perfect performance creates a feeling of floating rather than driving.

 

What was most exciting about the technology in the S-Class, unlike many of its rivals, is that it’s intuitive and easy to use. In fact, the placement of controls and buttons is where you expect them to be. The on-screen menus are clear and easy to follow, so you won’t need to pull over to try to figure out how to use the radio.

 

The S-Class goes head-to-head with the Audi A8, BMW 7 Series, Genesis G90, Lexus LS, and Porsche Panamera, but we must remember the S-Class created this class and is still the standard-bearer for a reason. The new all-electric EOS might represent the future of where the brand is going, but the S580 represents where the brand has been and is still a fitting flagship for 2022.

HOW COMPARISON CAN POSSESS US

HOW COMPARISON CAN POSSESS US

We’ve all used others’ yardsticks to measure our own lives and it’s been said that comparison is the thief of joy. Now, with social media influences, the field has widened for comparisons. How do we manage it all? Here, our contributing lifestyle expert, life coach, and author Angie McCourt shares her insight from her book, Love Your Gifts: Permission to Revolutionize Authenticity in the Workplace.

THE BEST INFLUENCE

In my book, Love Your Gifts: Permission to Revolutionize Authenticity In The Workplace, I dive into “comparison” as a block to revealing our gifts. The reason? It can negatively impact our mindset and start to possess us. Have you thought to yourself (while scrolling through Instagram or other social media channels) why am I so triggered by this person’s posts (even if they are great posts)? It appears we are almost possessed by “comparison” these days. We can’t seem to stop ourselves.

 

Unhealthy comparisons have significantly impacted our mindset across all areas of our life. In a world where we are encouraged to compare ourselves to each other or to famous or successful people either on social media, or by titles, income, looks, and even our bodies, it’s no wonder we tend to feel shameful or not good enough, more often than not. The silent yet in-your-face pictures, articles, and features flooding our information highway can create a sense of personal comparison, even if we don’t realize it is happening. It has brought on more consumerism and accumulation than ever, and impacts our self-worth. It can fuel our inner critic that says we are not good enough, which is one of the most harmful impacts on our mindset.

 

HERE TO THERE

The typical underlying message is that we are broken, our home is not up to par with others, we are behind, and we need to step up in society and within our culture. Even further, from a parenting perspective we need to do all, and be all for our children while keeping up with what other parents are doing, or supporting, for their children. Otherwise, we are not good parents. This includes the schools/programs our children are participating in, the grades they receive, the colleges they attend, what we allow our children to do (screen time and accountability), and their behavior. In the workplace, comparisons can have an even greater negative impact on the individual, the team, and company culture.

 

Comparison is heavy, low-vibrational energy, yet it can be healthy if we recognize it is happening and determine if it is helpful or not. Sometimes, it can motivate us to do something we have wanted to, and now that “they” are doing it, we feel motivated as well. It can also energize us to lean into our strengths and focus on making them central to our lives. Having a frame of reference or a model to mirror can help us overcome indifference, lack of confidence, or simply lack of knowledge in knowing what to do and how to act. If it is not healthy, we can break it and shift our thoughts and beliefs. Evaluating our standards, upgrading them when needed, and awareness when we are straying is key. Breaking the chains of induced comparison is such a freeing feeling. Living with intention and within our values and beliefs allows for healthy comparisons, but only if it motivates us.

 

BEYOND COMPARE

Choose to take a different path if you do recognize “comparison”, whether with your intentions (switch to a good one), pausing your mind to re-adjust (breathe), and acknowledging your feelings (anger, pain, shame, sadness, resentment). Acting with scorn and contempt toward others can have other serious consequences that you may not be able to reverse.

 

If you find that certain things trigger you such as social media, PTA parents (one of mine), media, certain leaders, colleagues, or even organizations’ announcements, remove them from your day. Don’t look, read t, or think about them. Let them go, unfollow, and limit your exposure.

 

Shift your mindset through your state of being. Go for a walk, dance, or, if at work, play music in your headphones to change your state. Focus on what you are grateful for and what that means to you and to your goals and desires.

Awareness, in and of itself, is a super-helpful way to break the chains blocking our growth. Setting your own personal and professional goals that align with your values and beliefs and sticking to them with integrity can help keep the silent hacker from getting in. Limit social media time and other outlets where you are triggered by “comparison.” Ask yourself, do you really want or need something…or is it just because they have it, and you feel you must have it, too?

 

MOMENTS THAT MATTER

MOMENTS THAT MATTER

As the world seems to become more complex, we, along with our very own Etiquette Guy, Jay Remer, recommend that we all simplify, simplify, simplify. Here are a few of his sage insights to support your own social conundrums.

Dear Etiquette Guy,

It’s something we all know yet often forget. Can you please remind me of the rules for white and linen worn after Labor Day? Since it’s so warm, could we extend that wear?

Laboring Over It

Dear Lost in Labor,

Traditionally, white and linen were hung up after Labor Day, marking the end of the summer season. Typically, people would close their summer cottages and swap out their summer wardrobe for fall and winter. From a practical perspective, we replaced the whites and linens with our favorite light cottons and autumn hues stashed safely in the cedar closet or mothballs for the summer.

 

However, like many old traditions, new lifestyles demand even more practicality and flexibility as warmer weather extends further into the autumn months. Many of us like wearing summery and floral clothes throughout the year–and that’s just fine. I recommend allowing common sense and your stylish persona to guide your sartorial choices. Creativity reveals our personalities and what better way than fashion to make our inner selves shine?

 

 

Dear Etiquette Guy,

When making a toast to a guest of honor at a meal or an event, should it occur at the beginning, the middle, or the end?

Terrifically Toasting

Dear Toast with The Most,

Making toasts at celebratory events is a traditional and essential component of most formal occasions. Such events almost always are in honor of someone. The host should always give the first evening toast, which typically welcomes guests and includes making a toast to the guest of honor. This occurs once all the guests are seated. When dignitaries are guests, plan any toasts according to proper protocol. There is some flexibility, but this is not an opportunity to go out on a limb with creativity. Save that for less programmed events where you want a less formal tone.

 

 

Dear Etiquette Guy,

Now that gala season is beginning again, is it acceptable to do “Dutch” tables and invite eight other people to an event to share our event table?

Tableaux Taboo

Dear Tabled for Now,

Dutch tables are far more common than you might expect. Charity galas depend on fundraising as a significant budget line item, as we know. Other than corporate sponsors and the uber-wealthy, most people cannot afford the largesse once shared generations ago.

 

Sharing tables makes much sense. First, it allows others to attend an event supporting a favorite charity they may otherwise not afford. Also, since we’ve grown accustomed to enjoying small groups, the Dutch option is easy for carrying on this new tradition. Humility comes into play when weighing the pros and cons of Dutch tables. The goal of attending any gala is for everyone to be comfortable, have a great time on all levels, and support a worthy cause.

 

Dear Etiquette Guy,

We recently moved into a new area and met our next-door neighbors, who we thought were friendly and engaging. The next day they invited me to their social media account, and I was shocked at their political and social POV on hot-button topics. How should I proceed?

Curious & Apprehensive

Dear Newly Neighbored,

When I meet challenges like this, and they are beyond awkward, I make a real effort not to put any oxygen into the relationship. Being cordial is one thing, but thinking you’ll change their perspective, or they’ll change yours, is a non-starter. I would limit my contact and not engage with them on social media until I get to know them better. Social media can cause havoc in any relationship. We can live side by side with one another and share differing views. Sometimes civil debate can be a healthy way to form relationships, but with the divisiveness that rides roughshod today, such discussions are rare. Please proceed with caution and reserve judgment as you get to know them.